Isn't it the truth...

Because I’m a man

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman - you never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries, like milk or bread. Don’t expect me to find exotic items like ‘cumin’ or ‘tofu.’ For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, ever expect me to purchase anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I’m a man, there’s no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always ‘sex’, ‘cars’, or ‘sports’.

Because I’m a man, I don’t want to visit your mother or have her come visit us or talk to her when she calls or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is OK - I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.

Because I’m a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. If you're crying at the end of it, chances are I didn't. And if you’re feeling amorous afterwards, then I’ll certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I’m a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was also fine. Either pair of shoes is fine. With or without the belt; looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I’m a man, and this is the year 2009, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the menu-planning, the weekly shopping, clothes shopping (for yourself AND for me), appointment-making and appointment-keeping, kissing boo-boo’s, cleaning up after the cat, and the dishes. I'll do the rest, like looking for my socks.